I’ll tell you what I want (I really, really want)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/cavorting slappers

What I really, really want is for you to just die quietly you awful bunch of shrieking hags.

Actually I don’t want you to die, I just want you to plunge into obscurity, despite the best efforts of publicists and your tireless self promotion. I want you to be recognised for the sheer scale of your mediocrity. I want you to be a laughing stock. I want you to be the raddled old has-beens they have to shoe horn into “Celebrity” reality shows. I want you to be at the bottom of the bill forever, below the fucking Krankies. I want you to be the new “Roly Polys”. In ten years time I want to see a TV special about you in which one of you died of a drug overdose and the other was strangled to death by a “client”. I want the world to laugh in your fucking faces, just for being what you are.

Word cannot express the loathing and contempt I feel for these particular women.

It’s so extreme that some years go when Omar Bakri Mohammed said that one of his first acts when he got into power would be to behead them, I actually warmed to him quite a lot…

I particularly hate the continued use of their ridiculous twee nicknames- in fact, might I suggest more appropriate alternatives that match my rather cursory examination of their current physical state?

“Planet of the Apes Spice” (Victoria Beckham)

“Rustie Lee Spice” (Mel B)

“Council House Self Harming Mother of Seven Spice” (Mel C)

“Pub Landlady Spice” (Emma Bunton)

“Rod Hull Spice” (the other one)

Granted, they are a bit unwieldy, but so much more appropriate