I’ve been looking at pictures of Bret from the 1980’s in which he was undeniably a good looking fella, albeit in an extremely camp pretty boy way. I've found a few pictures of him from thsi era- notice the clear blue eyes and toned body...
It’s very different from the Bret we see now. His official age is about 45, so I think realistically we can add another 5 years to that.
He has had so much dreadful plastic surgery that he resembles a startled cat, has long, lank hair and blurred jowly features. When not covered by sunglasses, his eyes are a faded blue and have bags like Melvyn Bragg’s underneath them. He appears to even sleep wearing a bandana which I strongly suspect disguises an extremely receding hairline.
He’s got a double chin, the beginning of man boobs and the paunch of a middle aged man. He wears long sleeved sweatshirts to cover flabby arms and his stomach and jeans that are far, far too tight.
He has the look of a sad, tired, washed up old drunk. A fat old Falstaff type character who is jaded and all but destroyed by their hedonistic lifestyle, yet is now vainly searching for some kind of love and meaning, yet is constantly defeated and betrayed by life and his own sheer idiot fuckwittedness.
A confused and misled old man is courted by a group of distinctly unpleasant and treacherous women, each of which claims to be profoundly attracted to him (despite most of them not being actually alive when he was still good looking) whilst obviously trying to further their own media and/or pornogrpahic careers. Basically, it's King Lear but with fucking...
It’s absolutely fucking brilliant.
It's Schadenfreude in its highest, most perfect and beautiful form- the show should really be called “There’s no fool like an old fool”.
edit-just noticed i made two allusions to Shakespeare-I'm a right clever cunt, me...
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