Not long now, you old Cunt…

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/ding dong the witch is (nearly) dead!!!

Some people may accuse me of being heartless and cruel about an harmless little old lady. If so, why don’t you have yourselves a great big hearty “Fuck You” on me. Go on, treat yourselves now…

This crazy old whore practically destroyed the north of the UK, thanks to her “scorched earth” economic policy and her neglect of the NHS undoubtedly caused (or accelerated) the demise of many, many people.

She cynically ensured herself an election victory from a nation of flag waving fuckwits by engineering a full scale war over a worthless rock in the south Atlantic, for which nearly 1000 people (a quarter of which were UK service people) died.

As for the cretins that hold in her high regard, what the fuck are you all on? Have you overdosed on tweed and jingoism?

Coincidentally I’ve just bumped into Elizabeth “Rivers of Blood” Duke in the corridor (those of you that have been reading this blog for while might remember her as a friend of the sadly missed “Five Bellied Fuck Pig”). She’s predictably a big fan of Thatcher and thinks there should be more like her. Well there were-they were mostly guards at Ravensbruck and thankfully we killed a lot of them, the crazy homicidal bitches...

Anyway, the sooner she is sucking cocks in Hell the better.

Harumph!

As I clearly have the mindset of a reactionary and choleric Victorian bishop (with all it’s attendant prejudice and fury) plain Common Sense tells me that of I even set foot outside my house without a stout oaken staff I will immediately be knifecrimed in the face by a some kind of despicable hoodie wearing paedogrant Hottentot (or someone of a similar stripe).

Why is this so? Well, let’s look at the facts of the matter:

Take your average picaninnie chap-bright as a button until they reach the age of twelve or thirteen, then the dark and savage heart of Africa that beats within them begins to exert its evil and malign influence, breaking the chains of civilisation placed upon them by the white man and once again making them more animal than man…

All rational thought and intelligence is driven from them and they become governed only by the insatiable impulses of their loins and the urge to kill and destroy-they become shambling beasts, more animal than man, devoid of all moral centre. Stalking the streets like slavering hyenas, a danger to all women (and men), especially white ones…

Unfortunately for the kinds of insane petrol-drinking emasculated maniac little Englanders who actually believe this kind of bollocks (and would no doubt nod enthusiastically in agreement as they read it), it would appear the official statistics don’t actually bear out this astoundingly paranoid but commonly held fantasy:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/CRIME!!!/graphs and stuff

If you can be arsed following the lines and trends (I can’t) it would appear that your actual risk of being a victim of crime appears to have lessened somewhat significantly.

Personally, I wouldn’t know as I never leave the house. I prefer to hide behind the sofa gibbering softly to myself in case the Muslims try to blow me up.

The Fat Edgar Book Club

With Christmas just around the corner, why not make it a Christmas they'll remember? Give them a gift they’ll love...


This week I’m recommending:













Fancy having your eyes pecked out by a fucking eagle? Look no further. A valuable source of information regarding this dangerous and antiquated feudal sport.
















This man likes the soft texture of bacon too much… Touch the ham… TOUCH IT YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!!!
















No more mad flailing with a meat cleaver-unless it makes you feel like a man of course. A real Man. Yeah. They'll pay. Oh, they'll pay....














These viscous, stinking, beclawed and semi-feral vermin can make ideal pets for small children.

















Learn the secrets of “Fox Control” and mesmerise women.















Bastard fucking pigeons….
















HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Duck!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! TOO SLOW!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!















I DO NOT FEAR YOUR FUCKING MUSHROOMS!!!!!!

Been away again I’m afraid

Sadly I am now entirely non-bionic.

I have however filled myself on what has been happening in Jeremy Kyle World. Sadly, it appears the decay continues as more and more worthless pieces of genetic detritus get washed up on it’s filthy shores.

How nice would it be to round them all up and get them to work on great civic projects? We could then hold lotteries for the right to be overseers for a few days at a time. I think the world would be a much nicer place to live in if we all occasionally had the right to ride around on horseback whipping malingerers.

I see it as the only solution as the benefit laws quite clearly aren’t going to get any less lax.

In future I would prefer it if all new claimants first had to be summoned to an audience in my oak panelled study where they would stand fidgeting awkwardly whilst I interrogated them as to their circumstances.

Those I found too lazy, disrespectful or undeserving I would have sent to colonies forthwith, whilst those who I felt were worthy would be dismissed (to be fed a nourishing broth of kippers and potatoes in my kitchens, as I am nothing if not a philanthropist) with a curt “Silence! I have heard enough of your idle prattlings! I shall ensure you are added to the rolls for poor relief, now be gone from my sight immediately, I have an appointment with the First Sea Lord of the Admiralty!”

Alas, I feel the administrative burden would become too much for me.

Meanwhile, has any seen the adverts on TV for those cunts who call themselves “Blake”?

Awful turgid nonsense…They look like what might happen if you took genetic material from Aled Jones and Will Carling. Mixed it in a lab, injected it into some chimps and then forgot to cull them. Within a few generations, this is what you would have…

http://www.blakeofficial.com/