Duncan Bannatyne fights Gypsies

Having had an epiphany about this man I have started thinking of other things I’d like to see him do on TV. Top of the list has to be gypsy fighting or bee eating.

I quite like the idea of a program called “Duncan Bannatyne: Bee Eater” and he looks pretty handy, so I bet he’d be good at fighting gypsies. Or maybe not, as gypsies are notoriously crazy/scary people who steal babies and stuff. My partner says that when she was a child her mother used to make them hide when the gypsies came round selling clothes pegs so they wouldn’t cursed or stolen. I think that’s going a bit far myself, as in my experience the most common thing you’ll get is either a good beating or a bad tarmaccing.

As for eating bees, that’s just mental. We’d never get clearance from the health and safety people for a start, even if he agreed to do it. The whole thing's a bureaucratic minefield.

Actually, as part of my fact finding mission for this blog, I’ve just seen a picture of Duncan Bannatyne and I have just realised he has the look of a Hollywood gangster from the 1930’s. Look at a picture of him and you’ll see it yourself. Now imagine him in a baggy pinstripe suit and hat and carrying a tommy gun. You can imagine him saying (in one of those weird 1930’s “Noo Yark” gangster accents where they didn’t seem to move their lips) “You godda go see da boss-jimmy don’t like to be messed around by no deadbeats, see..Youse guys bedda wise up, pronto...”.

Uncanny isn’t it?