what kind of fucking monkeys read this shit?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/bored housewives beanflicking

I tried to write a Mills and Boon novel once-it was about two Cornish rapists with severe learning difficulties who live in a damp basement flat with a load of terminally ill Alsatians, and their unhealthy and abusive relationship with a one-legged schizophrenic ex-prostitute-it was called “Fucking Nutters”.

I wrote it during one of my infrequent, but increasingly prolonged bouts of gout and syphilitic madness (brought about due to my past overindulgences with gin and whores) and was rather proud of it.

They said it wasn’t exactly the kind of thing they were looking for but they’d still give it a go (which was nice of them) but unfortunately it didn’t sell as well as we’d hoped.

In the end I took their advice about “exotic eroticism” I rewrote it slightly just by relocating it to a damp basement flat in Greece and calling the two protagonists “Spiros” and “Stavros” then renamed it “Hard Greek Nights of Passion”. Fuck me if they weren’t right-the fucking thing sold like hot cakes-flew off the bookshelves.

It just goes to show, never underestimate the filthiness of women’s libidos…