A close mate is getting married soon, which is all well and good, but we need to arrange a stag do for him.
These are notoriously bloody annoying to arrange because everyone wants to do different things, you end up trying to please everyone and spend ages arranging a weekend of GoKarting/drinking/strippers/archery/Ibiza/falconing/wall of death riding, then 3 days before everyone it’s due to happen everyone fucking cancels anyway, leaving you about £4000 out of pocket because you’ve just rented a load of elephants and knocking shop full of child prostitutes in Latvia for three weeks.
Anyway, a friend of the bride has suggested amalgamating the Stag and Hen nights. After telling her to “go get your fucking head looked at woman” it set me off thinking about what we should actually do.
So far the most popular idea has been riding around the desert in Mexico on motorcycles, hunting down condemned criminals with crossbows whilst wearing dresses. Is this the midlife crisis we were expecting?
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How about eating cheese? All You Can Eat. Eat tons of it. Then to follow, All You Can Vomit. Think of the anecdotes springing from that one. Make sure everyone pays up front 3 months before the date. Then if they drop out, you can eat their cheese! Who could resist?
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