God Botherers

Bind us together Lord.
Bind us together
The Dark Thoughts
They Rise Unbidden...

We have been asked not to use “religious swear words” in the office any more because they might offend the sensibilities of some colleagues. This is a bit of a problem for me as I do have a slight predilection for standing up and shouting “JESUS CUNT FUCKER” over and over again when under stress. Not sure where this new directive has come from, as this has never been a problem in the past…

Dreadfully sorry if you get offended by that kind of thing, but it annoys me that no one seems to care that many of my colleagues seem to have carte blanche to behave in ways which offend me immeasurably- most notably by being in many cases completely fucking shit thick

I have no idea what the current hiring practices the company I work at are however I’m fairly certain when I joined they asked for more than a pulse and the ability to stand upright. Now it’s full of half formed monster people who read awful tabloid magazines (the ones that seem to have covers full of primary colours that make “Heat” magazine look sophisticated). It’s like a school reunion at a retard school here.

I really don’t like stupid people (you may have noticed). I just don’t think there’s an excuse for it at this stage in our evolution-why are they still here?

The worst thing about them is that they are so bloody noisy about it too. If I was as dim as some of the people in here I’d at least keep my fucking mouth shut and hope I had enough brain power left to keep my heart beating.