Look at my huge cock! Yeah! I’m a salesman and I am “Mr Fucking Bollocks!”

Don’t you hate salesmen? I fucking do. I work in a biggish office in a biggish company full of busy people. I don’t need some absolute arse to come barging in wearing a shiny suit and shouting. It annoys me. Especially if they are from London, as they almost always are.

What’s with these fuckers? They know nothing, they do virtually nothing and they act like fucking toddlers, barking boorishly into their (company supplied) mobile phones.

Just had one fly through the office with the normal fanfare: “Yep. Yep. Yep, can do, Can do, yep. OK Charles. Yep. EVERYBODY LOOK AT MY SHINY EAR COCK! Yep. Yep. Ciao Charles.”. Fucking twats…

Will you please realise that NO ONE CARES that you think you are Mr Bollocks. You glorified fucking barrow boy, you only got the job because you have no fucking shame and no one else wanted to drive up and down the M1 hawking substandard software to disinterested fuckwits. Can’t you see that? So don’t try and get all fucking alpha male on me sunshine…

I’ve asked the nice lady in reception if he can be allocated the fleet car that smells of stale cigarettes and BO. And he will be.

He won’t learn any lessons from it will he though? Oh well, you can’t have everything.