My Productive Morning

Do you remember when you were at school and occasionally they would bring in people to talk about the wonderful world of work, and how rewarding and productive it would be for us?

They were lying little cunts weren't they?

Well, I’ve spent my morning dealing with the fallout from this email string (see below-I have changed the names of those involved in the emails not to protect the terminally stupid, but to prevent being convicted of cyber crimes).

Basically it revolves round a few principal characters –myself, Fucknut Number 1, Div who can’t Spell, Dingbat Fuckflaps, Pig Faced Slapper and Racist Fish Wife, with a smattering of bit players and bystanders.

As manager of some of said fools I have been dragged in to mediate this conflict…

My apologies for the length of this post, I really find it very difficult to understand how I got to a point in my life where I had to deal with spanners like this. The emails speak for themselves really...

Let it begin:

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From: Racist Fish Wife
To: Fat Edgar
Subject: RE: SALAAM

Good poor Fucknut Number 1 is very upset about this and so is all of our department, also then to drag me into it and want to beat me up.

________________________________________
From: Fat Edgar
To: Racist Fish Wife; Fat Edgar’s Boss
Subject: RE: SALAAM
Hello Racist Fish Wife

We are escalating this issue with Some Other Poor Fucker Who’s Too Busy To Deal With This Shit Right Now now.

Will keep you posted

Fat Edgar

From: Racist Fish Wife
To: Fat Edgar
Subject: RE: SALAAM

Hi
This is totally unacceptable

________________________________________
From: Fucknut number 1
To: Racist Fish Wife Hirst; Innocent Bystander number 1; Innocent Bystander number 2
Subject: FW: SALAAM


________________________________________
From: Div who can’t spell
To: Fucknut number 1
Subject: RE: SALAAM

he just sent this email to my team.... thick shi*.... he finks he knows it all... see my reply attached... LOL
READ ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.....lol

Yes we are aware Dingbat Fuckflaps, but people should really come out of the fault logs if someone else is looking into this, that's much easier to do.
Or we can all shout like Pig faced slapper and say oiiiiiiiiii get out of my fault log... :0)

________________________________________
From: Dingbat Fuckflaps
To: SHIP OF FOOLS
Subject: ECR's Locked

Not sure if everyone was aware of how to do this or not
If someone has left themselves in an fault log rather than having to mail them to come out you can just chuck them out
From the main fault screen go Information then Support Utilities then Recover Locked Fault log
Find the Fault Log number then press then the Entry number then Y to confirm

________________________________________
From: Fucknut number 1
To: Div who can’t spell
Subject: RE: SALAAM

tell him if he has anything to say to me be a man and say it to my face and then I will show him!

________________________________________
From: Div who can’t spell
To: Fucknut number 1
Subject: SALAAM

i fink he's just cussin u at the mo... LOL. AM SURE i heard him say something like ur people R THICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Pig faced slapper wants me to go and beat Racist Fish Wife up...
LOL. Everyone has had enuf of u guys.... am surprised they havnt sed ur name yet... soon babbbbyyyyy


________________________________________
From: Fucknut number 1
To: Div who can’t spell
Subject: Hello

you know your mate Dingbat Fuckflaps you should tell him to get out of that Fault log when he has passed it over coz then I can log it off.
....................................................................................

Well, I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.

What I wouldn’t give to work with professionals. Or just "Not Mongs" would be nice.

Innit….